The Craziest Movie Ever…
A couple of weeks ago, Eric and I were talking about the different events that have happened this year. The fires in Australia, the pandemic, the murder hornets, the insane events that took place during the US election, and so many more.
He said that there was no way you could have previously made a movie based on the events that have happened this year. No one would’ve bought tickets to that, no one would’ve ever thought it believable. But, here we are, a year into COVID-19 and I still can’t believe it is happening.
Not only were the world events insane, but in our personal lives too. Our year started with Sasha getting an injury that didn’t seem to get better. Then Rachel scratched her eye with a needle and was at risk of losing her vision, which caused many daily trips into the city to see a specialist. Then the pandemic started to make way into Canada. Rachel got extremely sick and we thought it was COVID. Then the schools shut down, and this all happened before the end of March. Sasha’s arm still wasn’t getting any better and she was struggling with getting in to see anyone due to the increasing number of COVID cases.
It was during this time that I decided to start a blog. I figured I could write about learning who I am, now that I am at an age that I am not as worried about what others think of me. I would write about my new experiences as I discover them. But guess what? There are not a lot of new things you can do during a pandemic.
It was late May, and quite warm already, our air conditioner decided to take its leave of absence. Great! Another major household unit broken within 6 months. Our furnace and hot water tank decided to die in the winter. It was going to take 2 weeks before the new unit would arrive and it was forecasted to be very warm, so Eric suggested I go to Gimli for a while. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this. Eric and I had not been apart much before this and I had never experienced living on my own. Well, here was my chance to try something new.
So the next day, I loaded up my car and away I went. During the week I was on my own, then Eric would come out for the weekend. I learned how to appreciate my time to myself. I only had to cook, clean, and care for just me. It was kind of a nice change. I got up in the mornings and tried doing some sort of exercise. Usually it was just dancing around the house. I ate healthy while I was there. I got the opportunity to learn online from one of my mentors, and I spent some time by the water. I love being by the water.
It was a little hard at first, I was really struggling with anxiety. Just being outside and seeing other people was causing me to go into a massive attack. I wasn’t able to go to the public beach or anywhere in town on my own during the day. I was so afraid to be around people. I wasn’t worried about getting sick, but rather worried I’d do something that would anger someone else. For example, if someone came the wrong way down an aisle I was in, I was worried that they would get mad at me for being in their way. Another concern I had was if I did get sick, then unknowingly got someone else sick. I would feel horrible about that.
I am a natural born hugger, I’ve never worried about people getting into my bubble, but now it’s so unnerving. I was in a store one day, trying to be quick with what I had to get. While I was in line a woman came and stood behind me. Not six feet, not two feet, but inches behind me. My heart started to beat fast, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My feet got numb, then my legs, my hands, then my face. I started to shake. I could feel her breathing on me. How could she not understand social distancing? I couldn’t speak to ask her to please step back. When it was finally my turn, I couldn’t move fast enough. By the time I got to my car, I was such a mess, I had to take some time to calm down before I could drive.
As the weeks went on, I adjusted to living alone. It was different, an interesting experience, learning to be not as dependent on people being around me. I enjoyed my alone time and spent much of it writing. The only place I went alone was to a quiet spot I found on the beach. I would just sit by the water and watch it, listen to it, feel it. But I would only stay if there weren’t many people around.
At the end of July, Eric shocked us all and announced that he wanted a COVID baby. He’d found a beautiful blue-eyed Siberian Husky that would be ready to leave her momma at the end of August. One look at those beautiful eyes and I was sold. We FaceTimed the girls to tell them. They were so excited they both started to cry. (I got a photo of their reaction, it’s pretty good) Even though we said we wouldn’t have any other pets after we lost Shelby, Reign was a wonderful addition to our family. She has definitely become a daddy’s girl.
When September came around, I moved back home to go back to work at the school. It had been the longest and least relaxing summer vacation I think I’ve ever had. At this time, Sasha was still experiencing a crazy amount of pain and had been taken off of work. To make matters worse, my migraines picked up and this time, they weren’t leaving. I’d wake up in the morning, thinking I was fine. I’d go into work and by morning recess it would feel like someone was squeezing my eyeballs and trying to push them out of my head with a board full of nails. By the time the end of the day rolled around, I was so exhausted from the pain, I’d fall onto the couch and crash, eat supper, then go to bed. Sometimes I’d skip supper altogether and just go to bed.
Then a few weeks ago, Sasha sustained another small injury to her “bad” arm, which caused a massive set-back in her recovery. We were in Emergency every day trying to get her pain under control. We finally got to see her doctor on the fifth day and then stuff started moving in the right direction for her. Her pain is now a little more tolerable and she has finally gotten an appointment with a specialist to see if they can get it under control.
You know, this whole year has just been a blur. I mean, seriously, it’s days away from Christmas and I have no idea what’s happened to the last few months. To be honest, we only put our tree up last weekend.
I am by no means complaining about my year. I know it could be far worse, and for many others it is. I’m just sharing how weird this year was for our family. 2020 is definitely going to go down in the history books as one of the craziest years EVER. But you know, if I could go back to the beginning of the year, I don’t think I’d change any of it, because honestly, it’s making me who I am supposed to be. I am Millixi, and this is me.
