Family / Friends / Me

Family By Choice

Growing up, did you ever have aunties and uncles that weren’t really your aunties and uncles? I did, and for a lot of my childhood, I was a lot closer with them than I was some of my actual family members.

There was my Auntie Laurie, who I thought had the voice of an angel. She always had warm hugs for us and lots of unconditional love. She was happy to be there any time she could. She was always so eager to hear what was going on in my life. She was so thrilled when she heard that Eric and I were to be married, and both times we were expecting.  I am so very thankful that I had my Auntie Laurie, and that she chose to take part in so many of my life experiences.

There was my Auntie Yvonne, her laughter was like the music she performed, for me, it made me smile. Recently on Facebook, I heard a song that she was singing. As soon as her voice appeared, an instant smile was on my face. That was my Auntie Yvonne singing. I don’t think there is anyone that could belt out a tune like her. When I was little, I wanted to be able to sing like her. Have my guitar in my lap, close my eyes, feel the music and let the song flow out. Not caring who was listening, what the others thought, just sing.

Then there was my Auntie Janice and Uncle Billy. They were like parents to me and treated me like I was their daughter. Lots of hugs, laughter, and “my girl this,” and “my girl that.” I don’t think there was anything I could’ve done wrong in their eyes. They moved away when I was quite young, but came back to visit often.

My family by choice, is in a lot of my childhood memories.

Often, everyone has gathered around in a circle, either in a living room, a basement, or someone’s yard. Sometimes there were full bands, sometimes just random instruments, but always, Uncle Billy, Auntie Yvonne, and Terry (my step-father) all have guitars, Auntie Laurie, Auntie Janice, Mom, and whoever else was there would be singing along.

Us kids would be off playing somewhere nearby, but we could always hear the music. The songs would roll through our heads as we had heard them so often. Occasionally, we would randomly join in and start singing too.

There are many musicians in our area. So if there was a festival, jamboree, or someone just decided to have a really big party, well, that just meant extra new kids to play with and a lot more music to hear.

You know, I think this is why music is so important to me now.

As I grew older, some of my family by choice members moved away, but they would return. We would get together, and Uncle Billy, Aunty Yvonne and Terry would pull out the guitars, and everyone would start singing and have a great time.

A few years ago, we lost the sweet voice of my Auntie Laurie. The heavens took her beautiful heart, soul, voice and body to be with her creator.

Then, we very sadly lost my cousin Chad. Who, when we were kids, could get us laughing at almost anything he would say or do.

And now we have lost the strong, and powerful voice of my Uncle Billy.

This man was so kind to my family. He loved us and treated us no differently than his own. He always wanted us kids to have our moment to shine.

When Eric came into the picture, he had never been exposed to anything like our family parties before. He would stand in the background, watching and handing out drinks. One day Eric decided that he wanted to learn how to play guitar so that when we had our gatherings, he could participate. When Uncle Billy found this out, he patted the seat beside him. He said “common my boy, let’s play a song,” and he handed Eric a guitar and guided him along, always letting him know the next note so that Eric could play too. That was such a heartwarming moment for me, to see my Uncle Billy, so welcoming and caring toward the man that I love. It meant so much to me, and it is a memory I will hold in my heart forever.

When Uncle Billy learned that Sasha was playing the fiddle, he called her downstairs and had her perform in front of everyone. Well, she was all for that, and he was so proud of her. Then he had her play along with him, and he was so patient with her.

My heart is with Auntie Janice, Justin & Jarret during this difficult time. Uncle will be missed so very much.

It’s been a few years since I’ve seen the rest of my family by choice, and with this pandemic going on, who knows when we’ll see each other again.

If I could jump in the way back machine, the only things I’d change are, I would ask for one more day all of us together with the music and the other is, I’d take more pictures to go with my memories.

The times that I got to share with you all and the memories that were created, I will hold forever.

Thank you all for being such an essential part of my life. Because of you, I will feel extra love and extra blessings. I love you all so very much!

*As a side note, I chose not to share any photos, as this is a public site and I do not feel it is my place to share photos without the families’ permission. However, if anyone has photos of our families by choice that they would like to share, please send them to me and I will happily post them.*